


Let's Just Get This Over With

by foreverHenry919



Category: Forever (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comedy, Dark Comedy, Fantasy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 07:06:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9645623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverHenry919/pseuds/foreverHenry919
Summary: Jo confronts Henry with the watch, the photo, yada, yada, yada.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own "Forever" or any of its characters.

Jo was on the other side of the door to the antiques shop, knocking. She looked nervous and Henry couldn't understand why. He opened the door, a big smile on his face.

"Hello, Jo." He rested one hand against his hip and beamed at her.

She frowned slightly at him and squinted. "No, you're supposed to call me Detective."

It was his turn to frown. "Come again?"

"You say, 'Hello, Detective, and then ask me if I have another mystery for you to solve." She leaned forward slightly, twirling her index finger and nodding her head at him.

Abe was suddenly at his side. "Yeah, yeah, I remember that. So, go ahead, ask her that way."

Henry looked from one to the other, then the light bulb went off in his head. "Ahhh, I understand now." His smile abruptly melted into a deadpan expression. "We've already been through all of this in, 'The Secrets that Keep' by Diligens."

"And in 'Forever Season 2' by KatherineAliceBeckettCullen, but it bears repeating." Abe said.

"I don't feel like repeating anything, Abraham." Henry rasped at him and then turned his attention back to Jo. "So, would you like to take in a movie tonight or something?" He furrowed his brow playfully and darted his eyes around. "I do believe that's the way people say it nowaways: take in a movie." He quickly smiled at Jo again.

"Henry! Grrrr, just ... ," she muttered through clenched teeth, "stop crapping around. You say what you say, I say what I say, we get this done, and maybe then we'll go to a movie or go to bed --- "

"Oh, I didn't hear that last part." Abe's eyes widened as he clapped his hands over his ears.

"Abraham, please," Henry chided.

"Yeah, you say that to me in almost all the fics and I'm really not that bad!" Abe poutingly pointed out.

Jo glared impatiently at Henry and held up his gold pocket watch by the chain. "Do you want this back or not, Mister?"

"My watch!" He grabbed for it but she withdrew it and held it behind her back. "Really, I must protest this irksome behavior, Detective. That watch was a gift from my father as he lay dying!" His voice rose in pitch in his exasperation.

"OK, fine, take it!" She shoved it into his chest and he grabbed it from her.

Abe looked at the both of them with a very surprised look on his face. "Wait a minute, you two, you're not supposed to be arguing. You (he pointed at Henry) are supposed to be all scared and nervous." He grimaced grotesquely and whined. "And you (he pointed to Jo) are supposed to be breathless and expectant but firmly standing your ground in an effort to finally get some real answers from this guy. Now, both of you: breathe .... breathe ... that's it ... in ... out ... "

Henry and Jo breathed in and then out along with Abe, neither of them quite sure it was necessary, though.

"Abraham, are you certain that we really need to do this?" Henry queried between breaths.

"Yeah, Abe, I'm with Henry. I don't remember seeing any of this breathing jazz in anybody else's fan fic," Jo added in between breaths, as well.

Frustrated, Abe abruptly stopped and stood up straight. "OK, you two do what you want --- I'm outta here." He walked away from them towards the stairs and called out loudly so they'd hear, "I didn't even get a chance to say 'Tell her', so I'm gone!"

Henry and Jo rolled their eyes and sighed. Henry rubbed the back of his neck while Jo closed her eyes and shook her head vigorously. He tucked his pocket watch away into his vest pocket and impatiently spread his arms.

"So, continue, please, what do you have there? A photo, right? An old, black and white of a man who looks like me, a woman holding a baby --- "

"Just --- stop!" Jo held up her hand. "Do I get to do this or not? As I recall, you are the one who's on the spot, here, buddy. And let me remind you that I am the Detective, I ask you the questions."

Henry listened with a false look of innocence on his face, hummed as she spoke, and checked the time on his pocket watch. He held the time piece up to his ear and frowned slightly, then smiled and then frowned when Jo snatched it out of his hand.

 

"What? Whatever is the meaning of this, hand that back to me this instant!" He reached for it but she shoved it down into her pocket.

"Then listen to me while I'm talking!" she growled at him. She schooled her features and smoothed a hand over her hair.

Henry saw her movement in slow motion for some reason and heard the classic strains of a romantic melody. He stepped closer to her and gently moved her hand away from her hair. She looked at him with a look of anticipation and wonder in her eyes.

"No, Jo, let me do that," he said breathlessly, a wicked little smile on his lips, his eyes dark with desire. He moved a loose strand of her hair back behind her ear. Her eyelids fluttered close as his fingers brushed her cheek and ... Abe interrupted them.

"No, no, no, no, all that mushy stuff comes later." He shuffled back into the shop and looked up and around, frowning. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, did the person writing this story just write that I 'shuffled' back into the shop? Shuffled? Who does he/she think they are?"

Henry and Jo talk over each other as they attempt to assuage Abe's hurt feelings.

[AUTHOR ALERT ! EVERY CHARACTER BACK TO THEIR PLACES ! RESUME DIALOGUE AND INTERPLAY !] They all listen wide-eyed and a bit frightened and then scramble back to their positions near the front door of the shop.

Abe: "Let's just get this over with."

Jo: "Yeah, you're right. Watch, photo, what's the deal, yada, yada, yada."

Henry: "Right. Not sure what those last three words you just uttered mean, but thanks for the watch, photo is me, my dead wife, Abigail aka Sylvia Blake, the baby is Abraham aka my son, oh, and I'm immortal --- "

Abe: "He's perpetually 35, can't age, can't permanently die --- "

Henry: "Whenever I die, I come back to life naked in the East River, here in New York --- "

Abe: "He was being stalked by a psychopathic serial killer Immortal who's over 2000 years old and it wasn't Clarke Walker, who he killed a while before Christmas, thinking that he was the Immortal --- "

Henry: "But he wasn't --- "

Abe: "And he was born in 1779, his first death that made him immortal was in 1814 --- "

Henry: "So I'm 237 years old."

They both paused at the same time to catch their breath. Jo had been listening with great disinterest and took advantage of the opportunity to jump in.

"Guys, guys, please, just stop." She held up her hand and shut her eyes tightly. "I'll read the rest of your long story in 'Promise' by idelthoughts."

"Isn't that part of the '30 Day Drabble Challenge - Forever', Chapter 29?" Abe asked.

"Yeah," Jo replied, "it's got all that stuff in it, yeah." She waved a hand nonchalantly and then placed it on her hip. They all stood in silence, as they nodded their heads and contemplated what else to say. Abe finally broke the awkward silence.

"So, I'll just grab my coat and make myself scarce; go visit Fawn or the Frenchman, give you guys some time alone." He did so and left the shop. He walked quickly away to the left of the shop. A few seconds later he walked quickly past and to the right of the shop and was finally, really gone.

Jo and Henry looked at each other and smiled nervously.

"So," Jo said shyly and moved slowly towards him.

"So," Henry echoed her shyly and moved slowly towards her.

Then, Jo abruptly said, "Movies."

"Quite, quite." He grabbed his coat and scarf and they left the shop. "Movies, it is."

"Yeah, the poor schnooks reading this particular story probably expected us to kiss and pet and wind up in bed or something." She chuckled as they buckled their seatbelts in her car.

Henry laughed. "Or drunk and then somehow we wind up making mad, passionate love ... uh ... to each ... uh ... other ... "

They both were uncomfortably silent for a few moments and then they both burst out into loud laughter.

"Fat chance of that!" Jo guffawed.

"Oh, absolutely, Detective!" Henry bellowed. "Another story for another time!" They both laughed hysterically as they motored their way to the movies (cinema, per Henry), to see "Rocky Meets Terminator in Hell", an instant classic, they'd heard.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Just a totally goofy spoof of the last scene of "The Last Death of Henry Morgan" S1/E22, inspired by too many episodes of "Seinfeld" and "Everybody Loves Raymond". And gas.


End file.
